Second Chances
by firewolfsg
Summary: Yaoi Youji's night of drunken debauchery may have cost him the one thing he desired most of all before he even knew he wanted it. Now he has to figure out how to make up for it to be given a second chance.
1. Mysterious Lover

Spoilers: Anime: Mission 21 - Trane; Mission 24 - Ende des Weiß; Knight & Ran Drama CDs - Real names of Knight & Rook 

Fic Setting: Takes place after the events in Mission 21   
Key: / … / = Thoughts; // ... // = Flashback 

* * *

****DISCLAIMER: Kyoko Tsuchiya and Project Weiß hold the copyright over all names, likeness and rights of Weiß kreuz. All these characters and materials are used without permission, and I'm not profiting from this piece of fan fiction. 

* * *

Second Chances 

****

Part 1   
By **[Jacque Koh][1]**   
****February 2001 

Youji resented the sound of heavy pounding that intruded into the comfortable warmth of his dreams. After sinking into his heartsick depression over the past few weeks following Asuka's permanent loss, this was the first time he had finally emerged feeling as good as he did now. He didn't want the sensation to end, but reality was making itself known in the form of a monstrous hangover. Coupled with the sound of a fist hammering on his apartment door... 

"Youji!" The lanky man groaned as he recognised his teammate's voice filtering through the thick door of his apartment. "Come on! It's *way* past noon! I gotta get to practise and Omi won't be back from cram school for hours! Aya's gonna be pissed with you if you're not down there to help him when those schoolgirls get out of classes!" 

"All right! All right! I'm up. Be down in a minute!" He pulled his pillow over his head to try and drown out the noise. 

"You're awake! Not up!" 

Taking the hint, Youji dragged himself out of bed and opened the door. The tall man delivered what he hoped was a fair imitation of Aya's 'death scowl' at his soccer mad colleague. The moment Ken set eyes on him, his expression changed from smug, to embarrass, before settling on disappointment. 

"What?" 

"Oh, Youji." Ken shook his head and sighed. "Did you go out again after Aya went to the trouble of dragging your sorry ass home last night?" 

"Huh?" Something in Ken's expression made him look down to notice he didn't have any clothes on. And there were flakes of blood on his-- "I--" 

Through the fog of the hangover and the fuzziness of having just woken up, Youji remembered his brief earlier awakening and the quickie he had had with his lover that morning. He turned back to stare at the bed, confirming his assessment that he woke up alone. 

"She probably left ages ago." Ken told him impatiently. "I don't believe you-- Youji-- look, we really need to talk-- This isn't the best time to do it. But we gotta talk okay? We're all worried about you." 

"Er..." 

"Just get dressed. And Youji, you should pay Aya soon." 

"Pay?" Youji pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to get his mind working. He was getting tired of the stilted one-word responses he was giving to Ken. 

"The bar called us when you passed out over the counter last night. Aya collected you and paid your tab. This isn't the first time, Youji. You *owe* him." 

"Oh-- right. Let me take a shower first, Ken?" 

"Yeah, but we have to talk, Youji." 

"Sure-- sure--" 

* * *

He was feeling a whole lot better after a shower and a coffee. Youji thought about it, and he had to admit that he felt as if a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders. As he approached his bed before leaving the apartment, a memory came to him of comfort and contentment... even fulfilment with the lover he had taken that night. What a strange yet wonderful feeling. It brought a smile to his face as he stroked the covers of one of the pillows. 

A dark line against the white satin caught his eye, prompting Youji to pick up a strand of red hair. He frowned to himself, trying hard to remember a name, or even a face to his lover. But if Ken was right, he had been seriously soused last night, so it was no wonder he couldn't recall very much of the events. He couldn't even remember having Aya drag him home from the bar. 

"Well, there can't be that many redheads in this city." Youji clutched the strand of red hair between his fingers and grinned brightly. He foresaw quite a bit of fun ahead, hitting the bars and looking for this elusive lover. 

* * *

"It's about time!" Ken growled at the older man as he sauntered into the shop. His kids were already crowding around the outside of the Koneko no Sumu Ie waiting for Ken to leave. 

"Sorry KenKen, I needed that shower." 

"I'll bet." Ken rolled his eyes as he stripped off his apron and dashed for the door. "See you all later!" 

The shop's only other occupant glanced up briefly from the arrangement he was making, to see the door swing shut after their young friend. Youji took a deep breath before he approached the redhead, fleetingly wondering why Aya was standing at the counter rather than sitting on the high stool as he usually did. He held out a roll of yen as he stepped up to him. 

"Aya? Sorry about last night." 

If Youji had been paying better attention, he would have noticed that Aya's right hand had suddenly clenched around the torn covered stem of a withered white rose, which he had been about to discard. But he wasn't. Youji was instead watching with some fascination as Aya's lavender eyes hardening into pools of amethyst as they stared at the money he was holding out. 

/He's mad with me, and no wonder./ Youji winced inwardly. He knew how careful Aya was with money. /Guess since he hasn't had to pay any hospital bills for Aya-chan for the last couple of months, he has a lot of spare cash now, but still... We'll find her, Aya. I promise you, we will find her./ "Aya--" 

The younger man was not staring at the money anymore. Instead, he appeared to be focussing on the arrangement of white roses, butterfly bush, red valerian, geranium leaves and lemon mint that sat on the table before him. From his body language, Youji could tell that he was upset and tensed. 

"Aya, Ken told me that you've been picking up my bar tabs." Youji put the roll of cash on the counter beside the scissors. "I just wanted to say thanks for helping me home all those times and really-- I'm sorry I never thought to pay you back." 

"Oh-- You're welcome." 

Youji blinked as he noted the sudden release in tension in his friend and wondered what it was all about. But he didn't dwell on it for very long. The sound of girlish chatter and giggling was becoming distinctive and he knew it herald the arrival of the usual afternoon hoard. Youji did wonder though, why Aya decided to place the flower arrangement he had been working on in the display window. Unlike other window exhibits the redhead made, this latest arrangement didn't look particularly cheerful. 

* * *

After two nights of bar hopping and cruising the nightspots, Youji still hadn't found his elusive redhead lover yet. He lay back on his bed and stared at the strand of red hair he had twined around his finger; The lone memento he had been left with of that one night of contentment. Even thinking about it made him feel good. Asuka-- Neu-- they were a dim memory now. He knew that the Asuka he once loved would have encouraged him to let go. Why push himself into a depression over regrets for the dead? There was someone out there who could fill the void for him, and Youji was determined to find her. 

In private, Ken had teased him mercilessly about the strand of hair he obsessively clung to. And the blood... Now *that* especially made him feel bad. He had had a virgin in his bed, and he couldn't remember who she was or even what she looked like... Youji promised himself that he would make it up to her. Just as he was now trying to make it up to his friends for the worry and irritation he had caused them over the past several weeks. 

Youji smiled at the memory of the talk he had had with Ken after the younger man came back from practise with the kids. He had been touched at how worried his friends were about him. Even Aya, preoccupied as he was over his own troubled concerns after his sister's abduction, had cared enough to keep an eye out for him and take him home after his nightly alcohol bingeing. Youji knew that he couldn't have asked for better friends. Well, he had a new outlook of life right now and he wasn't going to burden his friends anymore. 

/Red hair.../ Youji frowned and tried to think hard of the women he knew or met. In all honesty, the only redhead he could think of was Manx. But she had always brushed him off. Besides, her hair was far longer than the strand he held between his fingers. So, how many shorthaired, redheaded women did he know? 

* * *

He drifted into dreams of his faceless lover, with soft lips, and smooth, pale skin. His knees held on to firm muscled thighs as he pressed against-- 

Youji sat up in bed, suddenly throwing himself out of his dream. He panted slightly from his panic; little bits of memory and details came snaking back into his mind. 

"K'so!" 

* * *

Ken and Omi were wondering what had come over Youji that afternoon. For whatever reason, the man appeared to be in top form flirting outrageously with their customers. Unknown to them, Youji was watching Aya from the corner of his eye, and it was infuriating him that the redhead was as usual indifferent to him and the chattering girls. From his body language, Youji could tell that the younger man wasn't a least bit discomforted by his antics. 

Youji arranged for a hot date that night. He needed it to clear his head. 

* * *

He was distracted. She was disappointed. But it most bothered Youji that his date had told him that he was too preoccupied thinking of someone else to be with her. She left him at the dance club, quickly hooking up with another man while he mulled over her words. 

"K'so." 

* * *

It took Youji a whole morning to build up the courage to confront Aya. Having seen the man walking towards the storeroom with a clipboard in his hands, Youji pushed himself away from the cash register to discretely follow. 

"Aya?" 

As the redhead turned towards the older man with a questioning look, Youji's hands stabbed out to grab him by the arms and pull him into a lip-lock. The memories of that night flooded back into Youji's brain. 

//He had been dead drunk when he woke up to feel someone taking off his boots for him. Then he had seen a redheaded blur leaning above him to pull the blankets over him. His hands had snaked out then, reaching around the slim waist to pull the figure off balanced. He rolled over to have-- to have Aya pinned on the bed under him. 

//Youji had the height, weight and strength advantage over the stunned redhead. The younger man didn't even have the leverage or the surprise to be able to free himself. But-- despite the initial struggle, Aya hadn't been unwilling. Soft lips had opened readily to the invasion of his tongue-- Aya had leaned his head back, exposing his throat to allow Youji to kiss along his chin and down his neck--// 

The crash of something hitting the floor brought Youji back to the present. He broke the devouring kiss to look at where a ruined vase lay beside his feet. Youji recognised the vase as having come from the shelf they were leaning against... And there was a pale hand on the shelf now, feeling about as if to try and find another weapon. It suddenly registered to Youji that there was a hand on his chest too, struggling to push him away. 

"Youji-- Get. Off. Me." 

Youji turned his face to look at a flushed and pissed off Aya who was glaring at him angrily. He could also read something else in the hard amethyst gaze. Perhaps-- a touch of fear? It slowly dawned on Youji that he was holding Aya trapped and pressed up against the shelves with his body. He released the livid redhead and took a step back moments before the door to the storeroom was flung open and Ken came barging in to check on them. 

"Are you okay? We heard a crash--" 

"Everything's fine." Aya looked at the pile of ruined crockery. "A vase fell off the shelf." 

"Oh. I'll bring in a broom--" 

"I'll take care of it, Ken." 

Ken's eyebrow lifted slightly at Aya's expression. He was reading a lot more into the terse words. But after throwing a glance at Youji, decided Aya was telling him that it was none of his business. 

Aya and Youji didn't speak again until after Ken closed the door and the sound of his footsteps faded away. Youji was the first to break the silence. 

"It was-- it was you I slept with that night." 

Aya shrugged, not bothering to deny the accusation. "So?" 

"Why didn't-- why didn't you say anything?" 

"The point of which to--?" Aya raised an eyebrow at him. Youji had the grace to wince at the memory of how he had raved about the 'perfect woman' he slept with for the last few days. 

Aya sighed and started to straighten his apron before he spoke again. "Look, Youji-- You were drunk, frustrated, and in need of a fuck. I was-- feeling lonely-- So I let you." 

"You-- let--?" 

"You were pretty determined..." Aya wouldn't look at him. "I couldn't have gotten loose unless I was willing to break a few bones. Didn't think it was worth it." 

"Worth--" 

Aya took in a deep breath and huffed it out again. "Youji, things don't have to change between us. It was a one-night fling... Just like any of your regular dates. You don't have to play nice with me. It doesn't have to affect our working relationshi--" 

"What if I don't want just one night?" The words left Youji's lips before he could stop them. 

"What?" Hardening amethyst orbs stared at him in shock. 

Seeing how he already mentioned it, Youji figured he might as well take the plunge and finish voicing his wishes. "What if-- I want to do it again?" 

"And what if *I* *don't*?" Aya folded his arms in front of him, his expression tight. "Youji, you're straight! You fucked me like I was a woman. I _won't_ be used like that." 

"What do you mean by that?" 

"It-- hurt. You didn't-- Men don't self-lubricate, Youji." Aya started to turn away from him. "You had me pinned so I couldn't crawl out from under you... You did it again the next morning when I tried to get away... I let you do it a second time-- figured since I was lubed already-- But I-- I still didn't get anything out of it." 

Youji remembered the blood. "I-- Kami-sama. I didn't-- I used-- I hurt you--" 

"Don't worry about it... I-- know it wasn't intentional. You didn't know." 

"Aya--I ra--" The heated glare stopped him before he could say any more. 

"It. Was. Not. Rape. Only *I* have any right to state that. I-- let you. But-- You're straight, Youji. I understand..." Aya's voice had become very soft as he turned fully away from him now. "It was a mistake-- A one-night fling. It doesn't have to change things between us." 

Youji took a few steps forward, making sure he created enough noise for Aya to hear his approach, and enfolded the younger man in a comforting hug from behind. 

"Aya-- I'm sorry." 

Aya took a deep breath and let it out again slowly. "I understand." He let the taller man hold him for a moment longer before his fingers pulled at the arms around him. "I have work to do, Youji." 

**tbc**

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**Flower vocabulary used in this part -**   
**The flower Aya was by chance holding when Youji tried to pay him back for the bar tab**   
Withered white rose - Death is preferable to dishonour!, transient impressions, I am in despair! 

**Aya's window display the 'morning-after'**   
White roses - silence, Keep my secret, unity, I am worthy of you, love, respect, beauty   
Butterfly bush - rashness, wantonness   
Red valerian - drunk and blowsy, accommodating disposition   
Geranium leaves - You are childish!, comfort, conjugal affection, melancholy, deceit, stupidity, childhood, health   
Lemon mint - homeyness, virtue, cheerfulness Thanks for reading.

[Jacque Koh][1]   
[firewolf@pacific.net.sg][1]

   [1]: mailto:firewolf@pacific.net.sg?Subject=WK - Second Chances



	2. How the other half lives/loves

Key: / … / = Thoughts; // ... // = Flashback; [ ... ] = conversation through electronic media

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: Kyoko Tsuchiya and Project Weiß hold the copyright over all names, likeness and rights of Weiß kreuz. All these characters and materials are used without permission, and I'm not profiting from this piece of fan fiction.**

* * *

#  Second Chances

**Part 2**   
By **[Jacque Koh][1]**   
**February 2001**

It wasn't over for Youji. It was fully apparent that Aya had forgiven him and forgotten about the whole 'incident,' but Youji couldn't forget. Not especially the feelings he had had when he held his kitten. It had felt good when Aya had let him enfold him in a hug after all the pain he had caused his silent friend. And that night-- despite-- despite Aya's suffering, Youji had felt good about holding him in his arms. But after what he had done, he knew that Aya wouldn't want him to approach ever again. 

Youji couldn't stay away. He had the option of putting it all behind him and forgetting, just like Aya had. But he couldn't. He didn't want to go back to the empty relationships he had had with women. He realised that he wanted Aya. But the redhead firmly believed that he could only 'treat a woman right'. It was true that Youji had only ever been with women. He had never had a tryst with a man before Aya, and he had hurt him. Unintentionally, but he had hurt Aya and lost his trust. Youji didn't know what to do. 

Outwardly, there seemed to be little change in the relationship between them. However, Aya didn't notice that now Youji would often watch him when he wasn't looking. On his part, Youji was learning things about his friend he hadn't noticed before, like the very precise and practised ease with which he made flower arrangements. Or the interest he had in making Tussie-Mussies for their more mature cliental. Youji started to realise that some of the customers who came to their shop, were there specifically to speak to Aya about significant flower arrangements for weddings, funerals, celebrations... He observed that Aya didn't make many 'regular' flower arrangements like the others. Their redhead friend had particular requirements in the orders he made when replenishing their flower supplies. 

While he watched Aya speaking to a customer as they stood before a display of flowers, a memory of a conversation he had had with Omi came to him. //"Che, Youji-kun. You never knew?" Omi had teased him one afternoon out of Aya's earshot. "Some of our customers come to Aya-kun because he's familiar with the Victorian vocabulary of flowers. The flowers he chooses for each arrangement has significant meanings behind them. They like that."// 

He had missed noticing that. Just as he had missed noticing one rather regular customer who only _now_ set Youji's hackles rising. A rather brash, blonde man, with laughing blue eyes, who seemed to delight in teasing their redhead friend, and who Youji *now* realised flirted rather subtly using the flower language Aya was so well versed in. Youji was finding himself to be very attentive about eavesdropping on the conversations between the two men. 

Three afternoons after the 'talk' Youji and Aya had had in the storeroom, 'Blondie' requested that Aya make him a Tussie-Mussie of snapdragons, strawberry, heather and grass. Then he changed his mind and asked Aya if he would switch the snapdragon for an orchid. That had brought an instant blush to Aya's face, which faded quickly as he got his composure back. Whatever it meant, Youji had a very strong suspicion that Aya was going to be out on a date that night. 

* * *

Youji was waiting near the stairs when Aya came down from his apartment. As the redhead approached, Youji had to reflect on how little he actually knew about the man. Their friend was wearing enough black, skin-tight leather to look right about at home in a leather fetish club. 

"Hot date?" 

Aya startled slightly at his appearance near the stairs. "*You're* not out yet?" 

"Maybe later." Youji quirked a smile at the frowning redhead. "I seem to miss noticing stuff when I leave too early." He gave Aya a very suggestive look up and down, lingering pointedly at the figure hugging leather pants. 

The younger man blushed. "This is just for the club I'm going to." 

"Mind if I ask which club this is?" 

Aya was rather cautious in answering him. "One you're not likely to walk into." 

"I'm okay about it, Aya. Really." Youji petted him on the back reassuringly. "Don't do anything I wouldn't." 

He watched Aya walk away and hurried back to his apartment to raid his closet for his leather apparel. As he dressed, Youji wondered how mad Aya would be with him if he found out that the older man had planted a bug and a homing device under the collar of his jacket. 

* * *

Youji stared at the entrance to the club with some trepidation. He had never walked into a club for gays before. He was scared shitless. Suddenly afraid that he'd stand out... Afraid that Aya would spot him immediately... He was wearing a brunette wig to hide his hair, but he couldn't be sure if Aya would recognise him by his clothes. 

"You want him, Kudou. You want to understand what it's like from his point of view..." Youji steeled himself to walk up to the club and through the doors. 

He wasn't sure what to expect, so he sauntered in like at any club. There didn't seem to be very much difference as compared to any normal jazz club. To his surprise, there appeared to be women in the club as well. It took Youji a while longer to realise that a good number of these women were men, and those that weren't, were out with another woman. 

A grizzled bartender approached him as soon as he settled at the bar. "New here, aren't you?" 

"I-- No-- Actually--" 

"Simmer down, kid. I'm not going to bust you or anything." The bartender waved a hand at him to placate his agitation. "Look, have a beer on the house. You look like one of those confused kids looking for answers." 

"Sort of--" Youji blushed as he stared at the foaming tankard that appeared in front of him. 

"I'm a nosy old man, kid. The name's Yamagen. You want to talk?" 

"I-- well-- usually I-- that is-- just lately--" Youji stammered feeling like a kid who was sent to the disciplinarian's office for being messed up. 

A slight commotion drew all attention near the centre of the room. Youji started to rise to his feet when he saw Aya in the middle of it. A taller man with a 5 o'clock shadow stood behind Aya and held his right arm twisted behind his back. From where he was standing, Youji could see why his friend wasn't struggling. The brunette had immobilised Aya by holding his earring between his teeth as he nuzzled at his ear. 'Blondie' was in front of Aya and holding his left wrist captive while his other hand was releasing the zips and buckles of the redhead's vest. 

Youji was about to stride over to assist his friend when Yamagen grabbed his arm and pulled him back down again. "Don't mind Red there." 

"But--" 

"The kid's a hellcat in a fight. *No one* can make Red do what he's not willing to do. Sides if anyone tried, the rest of the bar'll help him kick their tail. Not that he needs any help. Red looks hot and delicate, but he's not just some pretty boy." Yamagen chuckled as they watched 'Blondie' grab Aya by his hair and pull him into a deep kiss while the other man started to nibble and suck on his pale neck. "Some sorry critters tried once. Moved so fast, he had them down and out afore the rest of the bar realised it was getting ugly with them." 

"But--" 

"Red's not to be trifled with, kid. You have to be 'Man' enough before he'll give you a second glance. Shadow and Blue-eyes over there are his regulars and they're jealous bastards about their privilege. Scenes like this play out every time they get together." Youji turned to see Yamagen's eyes sparkle to watch the trio in the centre of the floor. "Hmm, Red looks a bit impatient tonight. They usually let us have more of a dominant/submissive performance before he gives in. See? Red's letting Blue-eyes get at his throat now, they'll be hustling him out of here in a second." 

True enough, Youji watched in numbed silence as the two men escorted Aya out of the bar and disappeared into the night. 

"So-- you followed Red here, didn't you?" 

Youji swung his head towards at the bartender in surprise. The old man chuckled at him. "Wanna talk about it?" 

"I-- I want him, but I don't-- I don't want to hurt him." Youji admitted softly. "I don't know how-- how--" 

"You only know women, heh kid?" The old bartender nodded to him knowingly. 

"Yeah..." 

"Have someone else teach yer? You can trust me to steer you straight if you want--" 

"But-- I don't want anyone else..." 

"That bad, heh?" Yamagen petted his hand consolingly. "Listen to the wisdom of one who knows, Kid. You can't approach this like a hetero relationship. What a guy does to get into a permanent relationship with a gal, is to get to know them first, build a relationship then sleep with them and marry them. Or marry them and sleep with them, if that's the preference. Folks like us... we get to the sex first then we see if we can still stand each other in the morning. We see if we can build a relationship from there. Did you get to the first step yet?" 

"I-- messed up, Yamagen. He-- I--" Youji looked into his drink in misery. "He-- he let me. I-- I hurt him. He's-- I-- lost it..." 

"Shit, what a mess." The bartender let out a low whistle. "But-- you want him bad?" 

"Yes." 

"Then you're just gonna have to take it *real* slow and win his trust again, kid." 

* * *

The tracer Youji had on Aya lead him to a tall apartment block in a rather posh looking neighbourhood. He had stayed a while longer talking to Yamagen before leaving him a big tip and taking off after Aya, and now-- Youji was wondering how far he should go in following Aya and his 'dates' for the night. 

A faint blush suffused his face at the thought. Truth to be told, Youji never knew that his redhead friend had a healthy sex life, much less imagined that Aya would take on two lovers at one go. For all his sexual energy and playboy lifestyle, Youji hardly ever indulged with two lovers. And from what Yamagen told him, the two men who took Aya with them earlier were his regulars. 

Youji stared at the wire that lay on the passenger seat. He wanted to turn it on to listen. But-- he knew he shouldn't. It was a blatant invasion of privacy. But he wanted to-- to listen-- to hear Aya moaning in pleasure-- Hear and-- maybe learn what a man would do to pleasure another man... Youji closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing. 

With a frustrated growl, his hand stabbed out to snag the earphone and turn on the receiver. Voices started to come through immediately, making him breath a small sigh of relief that the trio were still talking and not yet into the sex. By the sound of it, Aya's dates were still taking their time to strip him. 

["Patience, kitten." The smug tone in the man's voice made Youji want to reach through the wires of the receiver and choke him. 

["Yuu--shi--?" The frustration in Aya's gasp came through the earpiece very well. "P--please--" 

["What do you think, Masato? Has he been punished enough?" 

["For depriving us for a whole week?" Youji was guessing that this was the man Yamagen had called 'Shadow'. 

["Pleas--" Aya's entreaty was abruptly cut off, making Youji imagine that perhaps it was accomplished by a kiss from one of his lovers. 

["He deprived himself too. But it's all healed now, and extra sensitive tonight, isn't it?" Youji could hear Aya's muffled moan of need. It was suddenly registering to Youji that they must have been referring to the injury that he caused to Aya that night. 

["What do you think, Yuushi?" The heated purr in the man's voice made Youji feel hot under the collar. "Shall we totally ravish this little kitten tonight?" 

["You'll need to earn it first, Ran."] /Who-- Ran?/ Youji blinked at the revelation. Weiß knew all along that 'Aya' wasn't his real name, but this was the first time that Youji ever heard this other name. ["Are you rea-- gasp> Kami-sama--" 

["Guess it's you first." The amused chuckle in 'Masato's' voice made Youji blush as it dawned on him as to what Ran was doing to 'Yuushi' 

["R--ra--nn--" 

["I'm beginning to feel left out." 

["Ran-- K'so! I was almost--" 

["Yuushi--" 

["Not where you want it most, heh?" 

["Yuushi, I think you need more than that." 

["Right. It is more sensitive tonight, heh Kitten?" Youji heard a gasp and a long whine. "Easy, kitten." 

["Shimmatta! Yuushi-- Hurry up!" 

["No." 

["How about some attention, beauti--? Ahhh--" 

["Has a talented tongue, hasn't he?" 

["Get-- get going, Yuushi. 'cause if-- you're not done and-- I'm ready--" 

["Impatient-- ass--" Youji could hear a muffled moan in the background. 

["Wrong call-- Look at who-- you're fucking."] 

Youji's imagination was going crazy. It was wrong. It was so wrong for him to be listening to this private exchange. Youji knew that he'd go ballistic if he found out that someone was listening to his sexual trysts, yet here he was listening to--. This was wrong! But he couldn't turn it off. A part of him refused to let him; A part of him wanted to listen and fantasize and-- His pants were feeling much too tight for him tonight. Youji groaned as he stumbled out of his car and ducked into an alley. 

* * *

They were done. Finally. Between them, Aya's two lovers managed to wear him out until he was too tired to hold onto his control. Youji felt like an absolute heel as he listened to them comforting Aya as he cried. 

["Shhh, it'll be okay, Kitten. We're following every lead Kritiker can give us to track her down. We'll find her, Kitten. It'll be okay." Youji could hear Yuushi telling him soothingly. He guessed that Yuushi was probably cradling Aya against his chest right now. 

["We'll pull this through together, Ran. Your sister will be safe, okay? Shhh."] 

Youji stared at the semen-splattered ground before him. He felt dirty for what he had just done... Wanking himself off as he listened to his friend having sex with two lovers. "Kami-sama..." 

["Out like a light, Masato," Youji heard Yuushi yawn as he spoke softly to his friend. "Eh? Where are you going?" 

["Feel like a smoke. I'll join you in a while." 

["Whatever--"] 

Youji sucked in a deep breath and tucked himself back into his pants before he pushed his body away from the wall. He was about to reach for the earphone to turn it off when he heard a low growl in the earpiece. 

["There's a 24 hour café a block from this building. Meet me there or I'm going to tell Ran about this little transmitter you planted on him."] 

"K'so!" 

* * *

Youji looked up nervously as the door to the café swung open to admit it's latest patron. Seeing how there were mostly couples at the other tables, the new entrant made no mistake in heading straight for his table. 

"Tanuma-san, this is a bit later than usual, isn't it?" One of the waitresses called when she noticed him. 

"Was feeling a bit peckish tonight, Kiko. If you have any fresh donuts, I'd appreciate it if you'd send me a half dozen to share with my friend over there?" He nodded towards Youji's table. "And a coffee would be great too." 

Youji waited silently as the donuts and the coffee was served and the waitress walked away. He felt too ashamed to want to look the man in the eye. 

"So-- you're Kudou Youji, is that right?" 

"er-- hai." 

"Tanuma Masato desu. Dozo yoroshiku. I'm with Crashers, we've heard a lot about Weiß." 

"Dozo yoroshiku. I--" 

"Care to explain this?" Youji saw the transmitter placed before him. 

The older man munched on a donut and sipped his coffee patiently. Youji didn't know how to explain himself. At the time he did it, it seemed to make perfect sense to him. But now-- all his reasons seemed pathetically lame. Heaving a big sigh, Youji concluded that his only resort was to be honest. Maybe 'Masato' wouldn't tell Aya and his redhead friend wouldn't kill him. 

"I-- was jealous." The older man raised an eyebrow at him but indicated that he should continue. "I-- How-- how much-- did Aya tell you about what happened between us?" 

"That you were drunk and didn't use lubricant." 

Youji flushed, only now realising what Masato must have passed to Yuushi before he started fucking Aya. The older man's lips were drawing into a thin line as he appeared to catch the significance of the blush, warning Youji that he had better not stall any longer. 

"I-want-him.He-doesn't-trust-me-anymore.I-was-jealous-when-I-noticed-he-had-a-date.I-followed-because-I-wanted-   
to-see-what-he's-like-when-he's-dating ~mmmffff~" Youji almost choked as he inhaled a mouth full of dusted sugar from the donut that was suddenly stuffed in his mouth. 

"Whoa! Slow down, kid. That's a mouthful to absorb. Chew on that and let me think for a moment." 

Youji obediently munched on the donut and waited for the other man to speak again. 

"I remember you now. You had a brunette wig on then." Masato pointed his coffee cup at him. "You might as well have had a neon sign over your head saying 'heterosexual' when you walked into that bar. What changed your mind?" 

"That night--" Youji took a deep breath before he continued. "Holding him in my arms-- I've never ever experienced a greater feeling of contentment and fulfilment as what I felt that night. I-- I know it wasn't the same for him. It-- it *kills* me to know that it was so bad for him-- I don't want to hurt Aya. I-- want him, and I don't want to hurt him again." 

"And you can hardly walk into a book store and buy a book that says 'Idiot's Guide to Gay Relationships'." Masato rolled his eyes and stared at the ceiling. "So-- you followed him tonight because you wanted to see how his date would treat him? You thought maybe you'd be able to learn something? Well? Did you learn anything?" 

"No." 

"Heads up, kid. Your problem isn't learning the mechanics of sex with another man." The older man leaned over the table until he was almost nose-to-nose with Youji. "Your problem is regaining Aya's trust so that *he'd* teach you how to make love to him." 

Youji jaw dropped. He hadn't thought of it in that way before. Yamagen's words were coming back to him again. //"... we get to the sex first then we see if we can still stand each other in the morning. We see if we can build a relationship from there."// He had hurt Aya physically, then wounded him again by spending the next two days looking for a fictitious *female* lover. Worse, he had handed Aya's a wad of cash the next morning... the younger man must have thought Youji was trying to *pay* him for the sex before they cleared it up that it was money for the bar tabs. 

And Aya's words to him... //" I-- let you. But-- You're straight, Youji. I understand..."// They were as much to put Youji off as well as to comfort himself with the inference that Youji wouldn't want him since he wasn't a woman. So Aya *had* wanted Youji when he let him have sex with him. Yamagen's words came to him again, //" Red's not to be trifled with, kid. You have to be 'Man' enough before he'll give you a second glance."// 

Masato may not have been a mind reader, but he knew that he had set Youji thinking hard. "By all means, you can try, Kudou. It's about time R-Aya found someone more permanent anyway." 

"Huh? But you--" 

"We're his fuck-buddies. It's understood. Before his sister was abducted, we'd see him maybe once every two weeks or so. After-- it's been like twice a week." Masato rolled his eyes as he fanned himself with his hand. "Oh, the sex is great, but whew!" 

Youji's eyes grew large. Masato noticed. 

"No. No. It's not like *that* all the time." He waved his hands in front of him in denial. "Kami-sama, tonight was *your* fault. He was too sore for any action for over a week. This was a release from the build up. Heh, if it was like this *every time* Yuushi and I'd never have any energy to take our missions." 

Youji wasn't sure if he should feel relieved or disappointed. 

Masato yawned mightily and got to his feet, leaving a few bills on the table. "It's late, Kudou. I'm exhausted, and there's a nice warm bed with companions that I'd very much like to snuggle up to waiting for me back there." Before Youji could move, he felt himself suddenly grabbed by the lapel of his jacket and a set of hard knuckles smashed into his face, dumping him on the floor of the café. 

"That was for tonight, Kudou." The older man told him softly, pitching his voice so that only Youji could hear his words as he massaged his knuckles. "Ra--Aya made Yuushi and me promise we wouldn't touch you for tearing him u-- for that little-- mistake of the lubricant. But if you *ever* try that stunt with the bug again, I'm going to let Aya know. And then Yuushi and I are going to be at the Koneko no Sumu Ie to stuff your wire down your throat." 

"Tanuma-san!" 

"It's okay, Kiko. Just resolving some misunderstanding. We're leaving." Masato waved the waitress off as Youji pulled himself to his feet. 

They parted at the door to the café. Youji watched the older man saunter off wistfully, knowing that he was returning to a warm apartment to cuddle with his lovers. Once he lost sight of Masato, he turned towards where he had parked his car, to drive home and return to his cold and lonely bed. 

* * *

"What happened to you?" The shock and surprise behind Ken's words as he laid eyes on Youji the next morning was not unexpected. Aya and Omi showed their varying degrees of surprise and concern as well when they saw the honey-blonde man's rather spectacular shiner. 

"Jealous boyfriend." Youji muttered as he tried to hide his black eye behind his shades. 

For a moment, Ken wondered if he was mistaken to think that Youji was surreptitiously looking in Aya's direction when he said those words. 

**tbc**

* * *

**Flower vocabulary used in this part -**   
**Knight's requested Tussie-Mussie**   
Snapdragons - No!, You are dazzling, but dangerous!, presumption   
Strawberry - You are delicious, future promise, perfect goodness, foresight   
Heather - protection from danger, wishes come true, admiration   
Grass - submission, the fleeting quality of life

**The replacement flower, instead of the Snapdragon**   
Orchid - lust, I await your favours, luxury, love, refinement, nobility, scholarship, beauty   


* * *

  
It was pointed out to me that the bartender's words in the above part could be misconstrued -   
You can't approach this like a hetero relationship...Folks like us...we get to the sex first then we see if we can still stand each other in the morning. We see if we can build a relationship from there. >>

This is *not* an explanation of Gay culture in a nut shell.

To the bartender, Youji is 'a confused kid' who is at his bar because he followed one of his *customers*. So this is the bartender's advice to Youji *based* on *his cliental* as compared to a 'normal' hetero relationship.

Mercy's sake, even the little scene I have of Ran and his two lovers playing around with a dom-sub 'performance' for the bar's entertainment... this is an invented scene. They don't play around like this because they're gay. The scene was just to show that they're secure in their sexuality and roles, and having a bit of fun doing this with an audience.

As an extension to this idea, it's also why Rook let Youji listen to their sexual tryst. Rook wasn't happy about the invasion of privacy, but he's comfortable and confident about himself that he allowed it. He was *aware of the transmitter*, so it's just a different kind of audience to him.

When you read my stories, you're looking at *Point of Views* of the characters. If I'm giving actual 'important' messages, information, and 'reality check' statements, you'll see it at the end of my fics or in my authors notes. (e.g. in Staking Claim, I gave a website link to highlight the dangers of the date rape drug - Rohypnol.)

With this story you get the Victorian vocabulary of flower meanings pertaining to the flowers that I've used as plot points. Nothing more serious here.

I am not writing a thesis of gay culture and sexuality in this story. Okay folks?   


Thanks for reading.

[Jacque Koh][1]   
[firewolf@pacific.net.sg][1]

   [1]: mailto:firewolf@pacific.net.sg?Subject=WK - Second Chances



	3. Making Up

Key: / … / = Thoughts; // ... // = Flashback; [ ... ] = conversation through electronic media

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: Kyoko Tsuchiya and Project Weiß hold the copyright over all names, likeness and rights of Weiß kreuz. All these characters and materials are used without permission, and I'm not profiting from this piece of fan fiction.**

* * *

#  Second Chances

**Part 3**   
By **[Jacque Koh][1]**   
**February 2001**

The only thing Youji felt thankful for with the whole SS debacle was that it did not allow him any time to brood over his 'troubles' with Aya. As it was, the proceedings surrounding Aya-chan's abduction had escalated with the arrival of the SS elders and Weiß were far too busy for Youji to spare much thought over how he messed up the relationship. 

Now that the SS were neutralised and Aya-chan awake and well, Weiß finally had the time to regroup and recuperate from the mission and the stress that they had been put through. However, as for Kritiker's assignment of their mountain cottage as a safe house for them to rest... Youji swore that it was the most lame-brained location Kritiker could have thought of, given the condition Weiß had turned up in after the clash with Schwartz and the SS. Hurt, cold, wet through from the dunking in the sea, and Kritiker sent them to a safe house that had no heating, in the middle of ice and snow. Aya had succumbed to catch a cold almost immediately. It didn't surprise any of them to see that the stress and worry, their redhead friend had been immersed in over the past several months, had finally taken their toll. 

Youji was angry, frustrated and tired. A sentiment no doubt shared by both Ken and Omi. They had been lucky not to be in the same state. Having noticed how 'grey' Aya was looking on their first night there, they had piled their comforters over him to try and keep him warm while they made do with their thin blankets. At some time during the night, Aya had given them back their comforters and sneaked out of the bedroom. They had awakened the next morning from their exhausted sleep to find Aya collapsed against the cold stone of the fireplace, with a box of unlit matches lying beside his hand. 

"Stubborn prick!" From the corner of his eye, Youji could see Ken wince as he slammed a few cans of chicken noodle soup into the supermarket trolley. He wasn't particularly concerned that someone else was witnessing his frustration. "You know, he *could* have woken up any of us to start that god-damned fire." 

"Except-- we didn't have any kindling to start a fire with, remember? The fever must have made Aya forget." Ken quietly reminded him as he picked out a few cans of pasta sauce and stewed tomatoes from the shelves. "No one checked to see that the place was stocked up for us to use." 

"What the hell did Kri--?" 

"Youji!" Ken hissed at him urgently. "People are staring at us. Come on. Lets just finish picking up what we need and get back. Omi will make sure Aya stays in bed." 

"And do you know how fucking cold--" 

"Youji, do you love Aya?" 

The unexpected question slammed the older man back on his heels. "Huh?" 

"You-- don't have to be ashamed of it with us you know." Ken pretended to study the list of ingredients on a box of spaghetti. "Omi and I are okay about it." 

"What?" 

Ken cheerfully pushed the shopping cart down the aisle and turned to give him a cheeky grin. "The schoolgirls will be disappointed, but we think it's great if you're both happy together." 

"Ken!" Youji launched forward to grab the younger man by his shirt and swing him around. 

"Are you going to deny it?" A pair of sincere brown eyes locked with Youji's green orbs. 

Youji couldn't work his mouth into voicing a refutation. He rolled his eyes and lowered his friend back on his feet. "I give up. I mean-- it-- I just--" 

"Love does that." Ken grinned brightly at him as he straightened his shirt, before tugging on Youji's arm to continue their rounds of the supermarket aisles. "Come on, Youji. Omi and I could see the whole thing happening a mile off. You're not angry with Kritiker because they dumped us in the mountain safe house after what we went through. You're mad because Aya's got pneumonia from staying there after all the stress he's been under." 

"Well-- You're mad too--" 

"But we're not taking it personally. And neither is Aya. He looks at it as an unfortunate result." Ken smirked at him. "I didn't know you were that possessive." 

Youji let his breath out in a long huff of frustration. "So what do I do about it? Aya-- he 'cut me loose' over a week ago. He firmly believes that I'm straight and that it'll never change." 

Ken frowned at him in aghast. "Youji?! With all the practise you've had with girls...?" 

The chestnut blonde slapped himself on the forehead as realisation hit him. "Oh-- Yeah, I could be persistent and try to seduce him." 

Ken couldn't hold it back any longer. He doubled over with laughter as he clamped a hand on the older man's shoulder. "You're the perfect example, Youji. The brain stops functioning when you get bitten by love." 

"Okay. Okay! So I've been stupid." Youji deliberately pulled his support away from Ken, making the younger man almost fall flat on his face before he caught his balance. He felt sheepishly upset with himself over how he handled the whole situation. 

Ken snickered to himself as he took control of the trolley to continue their exploration of the aisles. Youji shuffled after him thoughtfully. 

"Err-- Ken? Could you lend me a hand to seduce our icy redhead?" 

* * *

When they returned to the safe house, Youji found himself to be far from amused to discover Aya sleeping on an apologetic Omi's lap in the bedroom. To be fair, the house was like an icebox. "It's cold, Youji-kun." The youngest Weiß nodded to him timidly. "All the blankets and comforters weren't helping enough. He was still shivering--" 

"Yeah-- sure." Youji continued to glare daggers at him. 

"Er-- Do you want to take my place?" Omi started to ease himself out from under the slumbering redhead, drawing a mumble of protest from their friend for the disappearing heat source. Youji quickly stepped around the bed and slid his arms around Aya. Feeling a much warmer presence behind him, Aya relinquished his grip from around Omi's waist and happily leaned back into Youji's embrace. Omi gave Youji a lopsided grin to see the older man's face soften as he cradled their friend in his arms protectively. "I'll go down to help Ken-kun. We'll call you when it's ready." 

Youji looked up at him in surprise, wondering how Omi knew what he was planning. "Wha-- How did you--?" 

Omi rolled his eyes at Youji in exasperation. "Youji-kun, I'm not unobservant. Besides, why else did you and Ken-kun take so long to buy groceries?" The younger man gave him a mischievous wink as he threw a glance towards the rapidly darkening scenery outside the window. "I hope you were thoughtful enough to get candles. It would be more romantic than our electric light fixtures." 

As he watched Omi exit the room, Youji couldn't help but think that he was a very lucky man to have such good friends. Left alone with Aya snuggling in his warmth, Youji felt that peace and contentment he so yearned for surrounding him again. He never wanted to let go. 

* * *

Aya awakened to a comfortable, delicious heat, so very different to his last memory of lying against cold stone. Dimly, he could hear the snap, crackle and pop of a fire and he easily guessed how some of that warmth had come to infuse their cold log cabin hideaway. Drugged out as he was with the cold medicine, there was, however, another source of cosiness his fuzzy mind couldn't as yet identify. 

"Aya, are you awake yet?" He recognised Youji's softly spoken words and opened his eyes to look up at the older man who was holding him against his chest. "Yo. Think you feel up to having some warm soup?" 

The smell of chicken soup made Aya suddenly aware of how hungry he felt. With Youji helping him to hold the warm mug, Aya managed to master enough strength to sit up and drink the fortifying broth. For a long while after he finished the soup, Aya lay back dozing against the older man, letting his cold numbed senses absorb the state of his surroundings. With night having already fallen, Aya wondered where Ken and Omi were. Youji had them seated on some sheepskin rugs, with a comforter over their body, in front of a fireplace with its red embers and small flickering flames. He briefly wondered why they were using candles rather than the cabin's light fixtures. It did make the living room feel rather nice and cosy-- Aya blinked. Other little details started to make themselves known to him as well. 

Youji watched in interest as Aya's eyes fell on the white candles with their little flower bouquets that decorated the mantle piece of the fireplace. He could almost see the little cogs of thought in action as the younger man worked out the significance of the flowers and leaves in the arrangements. 

When they were finished with their grocery shopping, Ken and Youji had paid a visit to the library first to borrow some books on the art of the Victorian Tussie-Mussie. Momoe-san had been delighted to have them visit her and was additionally generous in giving them free rein to pick flowers and leaves from her stock. Youji felt like the whole world was playing a grand joke on him, even Momoe-san knew who he was going through all this trouble for. She also wished him luck in his courtship of Aya before they left. 

The fruits of that afternoon's labour were now artfully decorating the living area; White candles with little arrangements of lavender, blue and purple violets, tiny white feverfew flowers, and rue leaves sat prettily around the room. Of the many meanings attached to the flowers, Youji trusted that Aya would know that he meant for the arrangements to speak of devotion, tell him 'you occupy my thoughts', profess faithfulness and love, 'you light up my life' and a request for a new beginning. A far cry to the presumptuous arrangement Youji remembered 'Blondie' having asked Aya to make for him about a week ago. Especially with the request that had brought a blush to Aya's cheeks... an orchid for lust. 

The redhead shifted in Youji's loose embrace to look up at him. 

* * *

"Well? Aren't they going to say anything to each other?" 

"Manx! This is so-- so-- *so* terrible of us." Birman grumbled as they watched the monitor, which now showed Youji and Aya staring each other in the eye. 

"Do you really want to turn this off?" The redhead winked at her slyly. 

"No." Birman giggled, she couldn't help it. She wanted to see this through. "Knight, I thought you've never interacted with Youji before. How did you know Youji was interested in Aya?" 

"Ahh, that dear lady is my fault, actually." Rook clamped a hand on the blonde man's shoulder before he could speak. "Lets just say I had a strong hunch." 

"Strong enough that you had us let the kitten get sick?" Knight grumbled as he looked at his partner unsmilingly. 

"If I didn't trust you..." Manx looked at them sternly. "It was rotten of us to force Weiß to stay at the cabin after what they've been through, Rook. Aya's sick because of--" 

"*Which*," Rook reminded her. "Gives Youji a chance to press his suit--" 

A knock on the door stopped any further conversation until the last two members of the little conspiracy hurried into the room. "Well? Did we miss anything? Has Youji-kun made his move yet? Did it work?" 

"Nothing's happened yet, Omi." Manx turned away from the monitor to nod towards the last two members of Weiß. "Aya's only just woken up. Nice cosy little scene you guys made for Youji, by the way. And your camera's in an excellent position." 

"Yeah, hopefully Youji's not going to be industrious enough to clear the decorations himself or he's going to find it." Ken pulled at his collar nervously. 

"Shh, Kudou's moving again." 

* * *

Reaching behind him, Youji brought out a small Tussie-Mussie of weigela, columbine, with honeysuckle and magnolia leaves arranged around a red rose bud, and placed it in the silent redhead's hands. Aya stared at the little bouquet for a long while before he finally spoke. His fingers gently stroked the pink-white petals of the weigela. "Accept a faithful heart." Moving over to the purplish bulb of the columbine, "I cannot give thee up... Honeysuckle for 'Bonds of love'... Magnolia... Perseverance... A red rose bud--" 

"Innocent hope." Youji completed his words, bringing Aya's lavender gaze back on him. 

"I don't understand..." 

"Aya-- I feel something strange and-- and wonderful when I'm with you. It was all I could think of for the last few weeks. It's not the sex. I like-- I like holding you like this... I feel-- possessive when-- well..." Youji nervously stroked a petal of the weigela. "Could you give me a second chance?" 

"But--" 

"I don't want a woman, Aya, I want you. Have you-- did you ever feel that you wanted me too? Not in a sexual way, but--" 

"Yes." 

Youji almost missed hearing the softly spoken word. But he did not miss Aya's gesture of placing the Tussie Mussie into the left breast pocket of his pyjamas; right over his heart. Youji remembered reading of the action as a sign of acceptance. "Aya?" 

"'Ran'. My-- my real name is 'Ran'." Ran gave him a tiny, shy smile. It was enough of an invitation for Youji to lean closer to claim his lips in a sweet kiss. 

* * *

"Jackpot!" Manx and Birman cheered in satisfaction to see the kiss. 

"Okay, ladies and gentlemen, mission accomplished." Rook reached over to turn off the monitor. 

"Awww, can't we--" 

"No!" Rook looked at them sternly. "We've already intruded enough--" 

"Oh, let them." Knight caught his partner's arm to stay his hand. "All they're doing is cuddling, anyway. Besides, Youji knows that Ran's sick. He should know better than to try and take it any further right now." 

"Omi, we had better get back early tomorrow morning and remove that camera." Ken's face was burning at the idea of watching their two friends engaging in sex. 

Omi sighed as he gazed at Youji putting chestnuts in a metal scoop over the open fire before serving Ran a cup of, what he and Ken knew was spiced apple cider from a thermos flask. "Ay-- Ran-kun is *so* lucky." 

"Will our reputations be destroyed if word got out that Kritiker, Crashers and Weiß are full of romantics?" Knight sighed, not without a little regret for what he knew was a loss of an energetic lover. 

"Jealous, Yuushi?" Rook nuzzled the blonde man behind the ear as his arms encircled his waist from behind. 

"Nah. Just--" 

"Be happy for him." 

"Easily. It's about time he got a break." Knight watched the comfortable scene wistfully. "Darn, we are such suckers for romance." 

"Are you sure we can't persuade you to hide a camera in the bedroom, Omi?" Manx looked at the youngest member of the conspiracy thoughtfully. 

"No!" All four men in the group overrode the women's wishes. 

* * *

"Ran?" Youji whispered in his ear as he cuddled the younger man against him. "Don't look now but-- I just discovered a camera on the mantelpiece. Third arrangement from the left." 

Ran refrained from looking up and was silent for a moment before he murmured back, "They set us up, didn't they? I suppose Yuushi and Masato must have roped in Manx, Birman, Omi and Ken to help." 

"You're not surprised?" 

"It would be so like them to do this. I do know the real story of how you got that black eye, you know?" Ran looked up at him teasingly. 

Youji gulped a bit nervously. "And you didn't kill me?" 

"I would have, but it looked like Masato got to you first." Ran shrugged. "I didn't even realise he knew about the transmitter until I noticed it missing the next morning. To be fair, I did think your punishment was a bit harsh. After all, you didn't get away with it. I switched it off." 

"But I heard--" 

Ran's face flushed bright red as his eyes widened at the thought. "You-- heard--?" 

"Er-- Yup. Masato used it to called me out for a little 'talk'-- er-- later." 

"He-- you--" Ran buried his face against Youji's neck in embarrassment. "You-- heard everything?" 

"Er-- well-- I-- er--" 

Ran refused to lift his head from where he had it against Youji's chest. Though muffled, his words were still quite clear. "I am going to kill Rook!" 

* * *

Five pairs of eyes glared at Rook. 

"I didn't realise he turned it off." The flabbergasted man pulled at his collar nervously. "Er-- 'oops'?" 

"Youji-kun listened to you guys having sex?" Omi's cheeks were flaming at the thought. 

"Omi, do you think you may have a recording somewhere?" 

"Birman!" Ken's hands clamped over his friend's ears. "What kind of ideas do you think you're putting in his head?" 

Manx pouted at the embarrassed brunette. "Awww. What harm would it be? Ran already knows." 

"No! And if there is a recording, we're burning it!" At that moment, the colour of Ken's face would rival that of an overripe tomato. 

Knight couldn't take it anymore. He doubled over with laughter at the antics in the room and at his lover's anxiety. "You had better start running, Masato." 

"I am so dead." Rook buried his face in his hands. "How much of a head start do you think I have?" 

* * *

"Yo." Youji's hand reached over to cautiously lift Ran's face and pop a shelled and still warm chestnut past his lips. "Mad with me?" 

"I'll think about it." Ran scowled as he chewed the sweet nut. 

"It-- doesn't change how I feel, you know?" 

Ran blinked thoughtfully. "It-- No. I guess it doesn't." Youji watched in fascination as the amethyst orbs softened into lavender. 

"Won't do it again, Ran." Youji's hand came up to feed him another chestnut and gently brush his lips. "Promise." 

Ran's expression softened as he looked into Youji's eyes. They settled down again in a warm cuddle, no longer really caring about the camera pointed at them. 

"Well... I suppose we could ask Omi for a few screen captures to frame up?" Youji ventured cautiously. 

"They owe us that much." Ran looked directly at the camera meaningfully. "But if they try to hide a camera in the bedroom, all bets are off." 

"They wouldn't!" Youji flushed red. 

"You don't know Manx and Birman very well, do you?" Ran looked up at him teasingly. 

"Yaoi freaks?" Youji looked slyly towards the camera. 

"And die hard romantics." Ran chuckled as Youji pulled him into a tighter cuddle. 

It seemed funny how he didn't feel self conscious about the camera. Sitting before a warm fireplace with his kitten leaning against him as they sipped hot, spiced apple cider and ate chestnuts... Youji just felt almost delirious with contentment. 

*This* was the peace and fulfilment he had always yearned for but never found before. He did not want it to ever end. And given this second chance, he was determined not to mess up. 

**~Owari~**

* * *

**Flower vocabulary used in this part -**   
**The arrangements used to decorate the living room of the log cabin**   
Lavender -devotion, luck, success, happiness, distrust, soothes the trembling passion of the heart, ardent attachment   
Blue violets - faithfulness, love, modesty, loyalty   
Purple violets - You occupy my thoughts   
Feverfew flowers - You light up my life!, good health, warmth, flirt   
Rue leaves - beginning anew, grace, repentance, clear vision, virtue, disdain

**The Tussie-Mussie Youji gave to Aya**   
Red rose bud - innocent hope, young and beautiful   
Weigela - Accept a faithful heart   
Columbine - I cannot give thee up!, resolved to win, gifts or the holy spirit, folly, desertion   
Honeysuckle - bonds of love, generous and devoted affection   
Magnolia leaves - perseverance, sweetness, beauty

Thanks for reading.

[Jacque Koh][1]   
[firewolf@pacific.net.sg][1]

   [1]: mailto:firewolf@pacific.net.sg?Subject=WK - Second Chances



End file.
